You ever get stuck in these ruts where everything in life is just… busy?
I hate complaining. I have such a great life, and I’m thankful for that. But…
Last night was my breaking point.
Work is nuts. I have been so insanely busy and I don’t mind it. But when you go from one busy setting to another, with no break in between – it wears on you.
As of this week I am dropping my kids off at their dad’s place in the mornings, so he can get them to school. I don’t have care arrangements for after school, so either my husband or I have to be present to collect them. Monday I went to work early and left early so I could make it on time to the school half hour from my work, and then another half hour home. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday is my husbands turn to go into work for 6am and leave early to pick up my kids from school. I, in turn, have to take the baby to daycare now.
Last night after I got home from work, my husband turned around and went back to his shop to get caught up – until 11pm. Then Finn woke up at 3:30am. My eldest daughter shares a room with the baby and is sick. So I couldn’t let her do the “cry it out” thing… Finn came into our bed and was up for an hour and a half. Our alarms went off at 5am.
So here we sit, blurry eyed and worn out, with coffee in hand. I am wondering how long this will keep up until things just come crashing down.
For one, as a mom I am proud of myself. Proud that I have made this work. Proud that I get up everyday, despite the going-ons of the day/night before and continue to push onward. As a parent it’s my duty. My duty to just make shit happen.
Two, I am ever so thankful for a husband that works so hard to provide for us and literally gives everything of himself to others with no ask for anything in return. I am gracious for his good heart. It’s inspiring, really… his drive is what pushes me on days when I feel like I have nothing more to give.
I guess it’s just the way things go sometimes. Not all days are easy. I’ve put writing on the back burner for a bit while life slowly untangles. Being a mom is my first order of business, and then my career so we can have a roof over our heads.
But I’ll be back.