I don’t know when the shift happened.
The shift when social media became a constant…
When we started posting every detail of our lives. Our opinions. Our disgust with other people’s opinions. The judgement. The shaming. Fuck, kids can’t even have a snow day without it turning into an all out Facebook war. Pictures of our kids, our trips, our families, out meals. Constantly checking for an update. Looking for that new notification.
We no longer needed to have relationships with anyone because you can already see everything going on in their lives. What’s the point of meeting up if I already know you got a promotion, your mom is sick, and you’re going to Mexico next month? It leaves people bombarded with updates, yet feeling completely alone. We are missing real connections. The ones where we sit and actually talk about your mom who is in the hospital, and I can offer comfort and a genuine smile, and squeeze your hand to reassure you that it’s all going to be ok. Instead, we are lost and left feeling inadequate next to the “highlight reels” filling our news feed. And alone with our own struggles.
I don’t know when I started to let it consume me. When the anxiety set in. When I started comparing my life to other lives. Posting constantly to keep up with the Joneses. Leaving out the yucky bits and the flaws. And only showing the sparkly, fun stuff.
In 2017 I joined a weightloss challenge. Part of the process required that I document my progress through social media. I became obsessed. Selfies, side by side comparaisons, details of my meals, my workouts. Everything. I started to rely on the feedback of people I had never even met before. I became obsessed with losing weight. So much so that if I wasn’t progressing, I felt like I was letting the world down.
But who was I actually letting down?
My husband. My kids. My friends. The people who didn’t care about my posted progress. All they cared about was my happiness. They didnt care about Transformation Tuesday, or the likes, or comments. They wanted to see me happy. Truly happy.
And you know what? Your social media following doesn’t care about you either. They don’t need your “what are you thinking” posts or selfies. The constantly flow of updates, and perfect angles, filters and flawless edits. They don’t give a shit.
It’s about time we put our phones down. Quit updating the world with our location and every detail of our day. Take in your surroundings. Take a step back. Power off for a little while. The world doesn’t need to see your feed. They need you. Your best you. A happy, healthy, mentally sound YOU.
Social Media is killing relationships. Instead of talking, we sit side by side on our phones. We can’t communicate, but we can text. And our kids? They have to fight for our attention with a PHONE. When I was a kid my dad was glued to his blackberry. I hated it. When we went to appointments he would be checking email or chatting with a client/coworker. I felt like I was a burden. Like my presence was no longer worthy. Like I wasn’t good enough to talk to. And now what? I’m doing the same thing to my own loved ones.
I’ve decided to take a step back from the happy, shiny, sparkly posts. I’ve turned to writing in order to share the grim, unglamorous, hard-to-swallow, yet relatable, stories. This is the real shit. The broke, the sick, the raw, unedited me. The jiggly bits. The unflattering angles. The dark sides of my past. Because this, THIS is who I am. This is who WE are. We are human, and we are perfectly imperfect. And I’m going to put my phone down. Check out for a little while. I only hope that others can do the same ❤️
Happy Family Day weekend, my Canadian friends. Remember to spend time with your loved ones. Make some eye contact and just leave the phone in a drawer for a little while.